Loving the free spirit.

A free spirit is fiercely independent and loves her sacred solo space filled with daydreams and art and impromptu dance floors. A free spirit doesn’t want to be tied down, but she does want to be admired, adored, respected. A free spirit will give her love passionately and powerfully for a while, but just as quickly as she fell for you, she may change her mind and take back her freedom, her most prized-possession, leaving you bewildered and confused, but always loved…

A free spirit has drive and dreams unlike any other. She sets her sights on a goal, a location, an unknown experience swirling deep in her manifesting mind… She feels what it is she wants, then she sets aside day-to-day pleasures and saves her money, working tirelessly for every penny, and feels an unmatched sense of accomplishment when she purchases a plane ticket.¬†She’s made peace with selling her possessions and starting over each time she returns home, a place she’ll always love more than any beach or jungle or desert dune…

A free spirit is never too lonely, anywhere in the world, because she’s enlivened by life and conversation, by connecting with others who share her love of new experiences. She is loyal, 100% true, once she’s given you her trust, which she does so hastily, almost to a fault. She understands how quickly one must learn to let go — of people, of places, of feelings and emotions. The free spirit has seen more ups and downs, more bliss and broken hearts than most, but she’d never trade any peak or valley for a month of safe, secure monotony. Some are scared by travel and unknown tomorrows, but the free spirit is frightened by foreseen futures, carefully mapped out in 2-, 5-, and 10-year plans.

"So love the free spirit, but understand that if you don't "get her" you probably never will, because she is different than you but she's still fine, still ok just as she is."

“So love the free spirit, but understand that if you don’t “get her” you probably never will, because she is different than you but she’s fine, ok just as she is.”

But a free spirit hasn’t always had it easy, you know. She’s faced criticism for her choices, made to feel irresponsible and immature when she quit her job or ended a relationship without good reason. She’s been plagued by guilt for buying last-minute plane tickets instead of attending a family get-together or friend’s birthday. She’s been confused more often than not, never understanding why she was so different than the average girl — why she can’t wrap her head around marriage and kids, picket fences and pinterest decorating tips, or the comfort of a 30-year career with money and authority and a bit of fame.

So love the free spirit, but understand that if you don’t “get her” you probably never will, because she is different than you but she’s fine, ok just as she is.

Love the free spirit, but love her passion and excitement. Never try to tone her down or rein her in. Love her independence and her bravery. Love her high-pitched animated voice and silly ballerina dance moves and sun-scarred body covered with foreign script tattoos and cloth bracelets and obsure-stone rings. Love her tales of adventure and her incessant pleas for you to travel with her, to open your eyes to a world greater than the one you’ve always known… Love her when she sleeps, when her head finally decides to rest for a moment… Love her when she cries, when her broken heart becomes too much to bear, when she retreats into herself when the reverse culture-shock shakes her core, when she says she’s sorry, and she means it, for hurting you when she had to leave…

Love the free spirit, but understand she lives the only way she’s ever known… Love the free spirit, but love her for what she is and the only thing she’ll ever be…

Free.

Not all ...

And please remember…

...who wander...

… not all free spirits are aimless wanderers …

... are lost.

… many of us are searchers, seeking truth and beauty and love, just like you.

49 thoughts on “Loving the free spirit.

  1. I LOVED THIS!!!!! Thank you for writing this! I honestly, really really needed to read this.

    I’m off to Guatemala with a one way ticket in March. I spent the last 2 years trying to settle down after a year living in China. Parts of it I loved, but not a day went by that I didn’t feel restless, or curious, or the itch to book a plane ticket. So I finally did it. And I just don’t want to stop. I have no plans to stop. I just want to go.
    Going on adventures, connecting with people, being around good energy, learning, growing, understanding. :) That’s it what it’s all about :)

    • Yes! That’s exactly it! I know what you mean — I’ve been stateside for 10 months and in March I’m leaving for India and Nepal! Who knows what happens next, but for free spirits like us, it’s sure to be great :)

      And glad you like the blog! I loved Guatemala and I hope you will too — when you’re there you MUST spend time on Lake Atitlan (San Marcos was my favorite city), and visit Keith the chocolate shaman. I’m so excited for you!

      • We met in Guatemala. I’m going to India and Nepal in the fall. You will love India, maybe hate it a bit at first, but will love it in the end. It’s the only place I have ever felt truly at peace.

      • Oh how exciting!! I really am looking forward to India and Nepal — I’ll be doing a yoga teacher training as soon as I get there, so hopefully that will iron out the “Sooo ummm I’m in India and what is happening?” bit ;) It’s been a dream of mine to travel here for ages and I’m so grateful it’s all happening <3

  2. I’ve been living in the Middle East traveling the world for 4 years, I just spent 3 months in India and Nepal, I graduated as a yoga teacher and I’m state side again. You pinned the reverse culture shock to the dot. It’s been quite a roller coaster to be back now. I want to try and last here a bit, but the itch never goes away, I already traveled to San Fran and back to my country in Guatemala this month..lol.. i dont know how long ill last..lol..
    You will live India, try and go up to leh and dharamsalah for Dali lama.. You’ll never want to come back. Go and check out pokhara, lumbini and chitwan in Nepal. You’ll be in amazement. Good luck on your travels. Safe journies and thank you for your piece. It came at the right time :)

    • It’s very comforting to know others understand, isn’t it? Unless you travel, and really immerse yourself in another world, you never understand what it’s like to “come home” and feel more lonely and lost than when you were 7,000 miles away. There are those of us who do, so take comfort in that <3

      And thanks for the travel tips! I'm definitely planning to spend time iN Dharamsala and Pokhara, but I hadn't thought about those other two locations in Nepal. I'll check them out — thanks!!

      • yes definetly comforting for sure :).. home is definitely a conundrum for me.. but I’m learning to treat it as I treat every place,” like a visitor”, after all, we are all visitors on this house called earth right? :)..

        Thank you again for the great read :).. safe onward journey to you :)

  3. This is the first time I’m reading your blog and I gotta say I’m in love with this. Beautiful, inspiring and exciting post! It’s so comforting to know other people understand my hearts desires because they share them. Thank you for sharing!

    • Ooooh this made me cry. Thank you! That’s very nice of you to say, and YES I know — there are many of us who feel this way and it’s nice to know we’re not alone. You’re part of the free spirit tribe, girlfriend!

  4. I love this!! It explains how I feel and how I see day to day life. I also save every penny. Even when I want to shop for something I calculate how much of it could be used for travel instead. things just have a different value. And about relationships , I also feel I can love with so much passion with all my heart but then I realized that if the ‘man’ just sn’t for me I have to let go and move on. Things don’t have to get ugly so one can move on. Adventure awaits!! Cheers and congrats! great blog and articles

    • Ooooh that makes me so happy! I’m glad you can relate — it’s not always easy living genuinely for us free birds. And it’s not always easy for others to understand. But, we’ve gotta live the way we’re meant to live if we want to give the best of ourselves to the world. So, let’s keep on! :) So happy you like my writing — keep following along!

  5. Thank you so much. Your blog really inspired me, i just fall in love with someone whose personality goes like you have said. I feel i am kinda same type person:). Do you have any suggestion for me? Thanks in advance and keep writing…

    • Thank you, Jumon! I’m glad I could lend some insight into this girl who you’ve fallen for — as many often do. There’s something about the free spirited soul that’s magnetic. When we’re our true selves (not just free spirits but anyone really, as far as I can tell), we shine bright and people are drawn in by our glow.

      The best advice I can give is what I said in this post. If she is a lot like me, she craves your love. She wants you to show her that you care and that you accept and love her just as she is — tell her, do small things for her, hold her hand, hug her tight, provide a space for her to release… But also, make sure not to smother or pressure her into making plans or promises (she wants to make you happy, but if she has to promise something she may feel guilted, and she may create distance from not knowing if she can fulfill the promise at all…). Give her the benefit of the doubt when she does something you may not agree with (she’s honest and loyal — but sometimes she needs space or new people or a brief change of scenery). And finally, encourage her to dream! Free spirits have been pushed to conform their whole lives and it’s a challenge to even live life on their terms sometimes, but if you can make her feel it’s ok to be bold and adventurous, she’ll appreciate it so much… But most importantly, understand that you can’t make her love you and you can’t make her stay. She’ll give what she can when she can, but the truth is, she may leave eventually. And you may have to let her go… But know that that’s ok too :) Enjoy all the time you have with her and live as fully as you can. Let her inspire you to reach for your own dreams, and maybe you’ll end up shining bright. Together :)

      Hope that helps! Glad you liked the post and I’ll keep writing so keep following along. Xxoo

      • well wrote..every bit of it is tip top true,especially the above comment…this is the exact way what i expect anyone to treat me too.
        and what i wanted to add is that this applies to both the genders-him/her (free spirit),like a characteristic of a free spirit human.
        i dont know if u have meant this for both,But very good-loved reading it.:)

      • Thank you so much, Fahaz! I wrote this about myself, and about a few free spirit females I know. I just reread it with a man in mind and it applies as well, so I think you’re right, this is about the free spirited human and not just the girl :)

        I’m so glad you identified with it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts – I love hearing from those who read what I write xxoo

  6. Pingback: Gratefulness, letting go, and… the Ganges! [video + text] | Honest Green Jeans

  7. absolutely! some of us were just born different & don’t appease the status quo… & we are vilified or misunderstood or gawked at for not wanting marriage + kids. those are the people for me =) thanks for putting it into words!

  8. i love this because it describes all of me and glad someone can relate. I always felt that I was strange for feeling like this but it made me alive and happy. Thank you for articulating it so well on your blog. =)

  9. This brought tears to my eyes! only a small handful of people can love me for the free spirit that i am. Its a lonely world for me

    • There are many people who CAN love you and all free spirits like us. We’re loveable, and we can give big big love as well. The trouble is people are afraid to love us, knowing how quick we can move along. Have faith that that’s ok too. We’re resilient, fierce, and beautiful.

      Sending lots of love <3

      • oh my goodness. not just your article is spot on and resonates but all the comments following it too. my identical twin sister sent me the link to the article and it describes me certainly to a tee. she feels the same. i understand now how why i’ve steadfastly declined marriage, never wanted children, and have been so ferociously protective of my independence. i wonder what else you’ve written. :)

      • I’m so glad you connected with this! Sometimes we feel quite isolated and alone being free spirits like we are, but knowing we’re not alone and knowing that being this way is the ONLY way we could and should even be is more than comforting, it’s amazingly inspirational! I wouldn’t want to be any other way, even if it’s hard and confusing (for myself and for those who love me).

        Look through the site and hopefully you’ll find more you love. And, more writing coming soon :)

  10. Pingback: Loving the Free Spirit | Let's go on an adventure.

  11. This is a beautiful article. I have a friend who fits the profile of a free spirit above. I could not agree more with you.

    There is no greater wonder in my life than having met a person who, as you said, opened my eyes to the universe more than she did.

    Thank you.

    • I’m glad a free spirit has touched your life and left a mark on your soul — there is some powerful love inside each of us, and when the free spirit wanders, gathers, and shares it with those she meets, the world is a much better place :)

      Thanks for sharing with me <3

  12. I loved this article and your blog in general. I came across it today and giggled, are you my daughter? Oh my goodness, you are so me but decades younger. My daughter is 32 years old and is completely opposite of the free spirited, me. Let your spirit soar young lady, your life will be grand, just trust me on this. I’m a 57 year old free spirit and while it took me many years to discover who I am, once I identified myself as a free spirit, I let my spirit soar! Lucky you to find yourself at such a young age! Dream big and follow where your spirit leads you. F#%* conformity! So glad I found your blog. Take a peak at mine if you like…
    thefreespiritedwoman.com
    Lynn

  13. Your words made me cry…. you have summed up who I am perfectly… your words are beautiful, and have made me feel special, rather than ‘odd.’ Thank you sooooo much. I have wanted to hear these words all my life.

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