Taking back my baby-maker and cleaning out the drugs.

The final baby killer pill…

I’ve made a decision to no longer take birth control.

For many this may not seem like a big deal, and to others it may seem quite silly in the first place (the taking or quitting). But for me, it’s a decision that’s been long coming. For years (the past four or so especially) I’ve discussed quitting with my partners and doctors and have faced plenty of resistance. I’ve also been assured time and time again that there aren’t and won’t be any long-term side affects from taking the pill; it’s 100% safe for long-term use and it won’t affect my fertility in the future.

My intuition tells me otherwise. Ten-plus years of pumping daily hormones into my body with hopes of preventing my reproductive system from doing something it’s intended to do? No, I don’t think that can be healthy or without consequence when continued for that amount of time. And, as I’ve just written about, one of my goal’s for 2013 and beyond is to fully listen to and honor what I feel inside. So, that’s that. Enough of the birth control for me.

Just another step toward authenticity

I’ve recently cut out prescription drugs for my panic attacks and anxiety issues; I’ve stopped relying on Ambien as a nightly pacifier for my over-thinking mind and underworked body; I’ve drastically cut back on my use of Xanax and other prescription downers; And, I’ve slowed down on the drinking and caffeine. It hasn’t been just the obvious external stimulants things either — I’ve gone 100% vegetarian and choose vegan more often than not; I’m eating organic and locally grown whenever possible (which is super simple while living here obviously, but even back in the states I made this happen); I’m making time for silence, yoga, and meditation; and, I’m tuning in with my senses and my body’s needs to help guide my nutrition choices and energy use.

Basically, I’m making conscious efforts to make my body and mind as centered and healthy as possible. And now, I’m getting the opportunity to remove yet another major roadblock to being the natural me — birth control.

I’m also at a place where I feel ready for the responsibility of loving with intention. It might be time to say goodbye to one-night stands (let’s be real — these things happen), or relationships with men I wouldn’t dare raise a child with. Sex is a big deal, and it’s totally ok for it to be a big deal. I’ve had many moments in my life where I loved the freedom and fun that can come with sex and, having that safeguard of birth control definitely took the worry away and let me jump in (the sack?) whenever I wanted. Yes, as I grew older these moments became fewer and much, much farther inbetween, but the possibility was always there. I’m ok with squashing that — no more free love from me.

Prepping for the process

While I was withdrawling from the Lexapro I took for over two years (I completely finished this process about two weeks before I left for Costa Rica), I deliberately made myself focus on the fluctuations in my mood, reactions, energy, and physical health and sensations. I tried to never push myself into doing anything — if I felt up for it, I’d do it; if not, I wouldn’t. I ate meals intentionally prepared for what I felt I needed at the time and I chose physical activities and exercises that would compliment my energy stores.

I was tuning in, and that’s exactly what I plan to do over the next couple of months.

What better place to go through this process than in a jungle sanctuary where I can make time for whatever it is I need? And, who better people to be with than those who are willing and wanting to help me transition into a healthier, happier girl! I mentioned to several people tonight during dinner that I was finally stepping away from the pill and it was so beautiful to hear the words of encouragement and feel the love and support from the group. If I get crazy for a couple weeks, I won’t be judged. They’re here to help me with whatever I need, just as I’m here to help them… That’s what community is all about 🙂

So, goodbye little pink pills. I’m taking ownership of this piece, too 🙂

Update — found a great blog post about why we should pack away the little pink pills for good! http://culinarykarma.net/birthcontrol1/

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