LIBERATION on his back as blood sprayed on the snow [poem]

LIBERATION on his back as blood sprayed on the snow

LIBERATION
blocky scripted ink handmade by a cousin
addict with a hella
shaky hand
wife in wheelchair, near vegetables, eating
macaroni and cheese mush life no thanks nah man i’m good give me that pill yo?

LIBERATION was inked forever on him and them and her, too, she knew

intuition spoke more than anyone did, and yet

she did not listen, a voice in her
chest heart caving in feeling what she felt
knowing and truth and foreshadowing fear in her bones

she let it go and so she let him go but she was angry and said no that wasn’t how
she let it go

drove back to him after he’d taken the pills from her bottle and replaced with zantac, crazy drove to the stop sign on clark, said nah thanks man, i’m good give me that pill yo?

home she was home and she was there and so was he and she looked inside that bottle and did you see
was gone
as was her credit card, that cousin told her, somehow truth rested also in
his eyes in pain

she walked into that stanky house and told him that she knew
card was gone, he used it, didn’t he, of course he did, proof she had
no he didn’t deny deny deny deny what happened next was one of the early conscious awakenings

black holes of her life

she moved away from him, denied his merciful requests for more more more
was angry and righteous and right and rightfully so but yet
he was hurting

she got to the car before he did, he begged her not to do what she was about to do
she drove fast, he blocked the car, said please baby don’t go, please
she drove

mind was awfully big and powerful pushing her to stop the car and go

intuition spoke more than anyone did, and yet

this time she listened, a voice in her
chest heart caving in feeling what she felt
knowing and truth and foreshadowing fear in her bones

fast forward cannot relive the retelling not here not now not my painful point of view

yet there we were
LIBERATION on his back as
blood sprayed on the snow

she didn’t trust her voice, the wisdom
the first time around, fool, get it right
could have saved you some time and some pain, (wo)man
would have died right then and there

intuition stopped her from letting him go
there, then, now, let it go go go go go go go go go go go
with the blood spray on the snow

hard to feel it all again, really don’t want to, cannot, not capable, it is
really, too much

she drove back to the door, the snow was deep
piled so so high, too deep to get them help
february is a hard time in michigan

i cannot tell it now, i will wait to finish this one

so here we are
LIBERATION on his back as
blood sprayed on the snow…

[tbcontinued…]